Over and Over Again

It seemed to me that regardless of the effort i put in
At getting things right and earn some recognition
Problems seemed to be crawling around me in this line of work i am in
Just as i thought it was over , it came back and the end of it was just a frigment of my imagination

I am losing the drive in chasing after compliments
For it seemed like the more rewards obtained, the more problems awaits
Perhaps i should just stay satisfied with a life of abundance
Perhaps i have been too ambitious and greed become my best mate

I despise this feeling of uncertainty
Feeling threatened all the time
Will i ever enjoy peace again? could be just maybe
Or would all these unnecessary stress kill me before my time

I could have turn my friend in, yes i could
Yet i should stand up for my own mistakes and not dragging others along
Eventhough she's a part of the mistake, yes i should
Yet, it won't change the fact that i am in a wrong

Am i dumb or retarded for swallowing the mistakes all by myself?
Haven't those experiences from my past taught me anything ?
In being too nice to my friends i'm just attempting suicide on myself
Why do i keep doing this sort of thing?