Drinking Is Not For Pride & Glory

There are people who are addicted to drinking,condemned to crave for the taste of alcohol for for the rest of their sorrowful lives. By not having alcohol ,these people would sweat a lot, it feels uneasy, hands would tremble and body feels weak. I on the other hand is addicted to the attention that i received upon drinking more than others .

It had always felt good to be respected,complimented and recognised for being a better drinker.It was an achievement to have higher alcohol resistance and after the break up and all the other problems in life, i grew closer to alcohol and i have somehow turned into an alcoholic.
However, i was not the typical type of alcoholic that couldn't live without alcohol. I soon discover that my craving for alcohol is just a cover towards my craving of recognition and respect which i blindly believe i was receiving by setting a meaningless record among my friends.

My friends replied i am lying whenever i told them i wanted to quit drinking. My friends feel that it was just small talk and it would never happened because i would always run back to alcohol.Eventually, i would.It reaches a point in time that i seemed to have believe that there is no turning back for me. It is impossible, i cannot live without drinking.

Once a drinker always a drinker. This saying doesn't apply to me anymore. Yes, i have been lying to myself. I have been deceiving myself that i am a really good drinker or an awesome tanker but the truth is there would always be someone better than me.I have always been living in a lie that drinking is a manly hobby.It is a way to drown sorrows and stress. Soon,somehow it became a record that i have to keep . What's the point?? What am i trying to prove?

I used to tease and make jokes of those who cannot drink and their faces turned red while mine don't. I guess i am the biggest joke. Drinking till i passed out isn't magnificent or glorifying.It is humiliating and degrading.I guess a real man is one that has the will power to stop from an addiction not fall deeper.